Unlocking Your Very Best Life with Riana Malia
Written by Heather Anderson
Riana Malia of RianaMalia.com
In the intricate world of the subconscious mind, Riana Malia shines a guiding light. Founder of RianaMalia.com and an expert in accessing the unconscious mind with evolved Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), her journey is one of resilience and transformation. She explores how our deepest beliefs, formed in our earliest experiences, shape our life's path. Riana's approach to NLP uncovers a route to profound personal growth and a life fully realized, demonstrating the transformative power of the mind's hidden depths.
Riana, your journey of starting anew is deeply compelling and resonates with so many. It's the foundation of your work in guiding others through their transformations. Could you take us to that pivotal moment in your life, that stark 'this isn't working' realization, which propelled you to where you are now?
Absolutely, there was this intense, almost terrifying moment. Picture this: post-divorce, I pack up my life - my mom, daughter, our two horses, three cats - and we all head to California. I'm all in, chasing this dream of running a family business, creating a new chapter. But it was like stepping into quicksand. Suddenly, I'm in this new place, without a familiar face in sight, and the business I staked everything on just crumbles. I'm thinking, "What now?" Here I am, trying to keep it together for my daughter, yet inside, I'm a mix of fear, confusion, and disbelief. It was a wake-up call, a stark realization that sometimes, life throws you off the path you meticulously planned.
During this tumultuous period, what was the biggest challenge you faced, and how did you navigate it?
The most daunting challenge was grappling with the deep-seated longing for a father's love, something that had been missing throughout my childhood. This move to California, under the promise of a father-daughter reunion, seemed like the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. But reality struck hard and painfully. Following a shocking and traumatic encounter with law enforcement linked to my father's activities, I was forced to confront a bitter truth. The father I yearned for would never be a part of my life in the way I had hoped. This revelation meant letting go of an idealized image that I had clung to for years. The true journey was about finding a sense of love, worthiness, and acceptance within myself, rather than seeking it externally. This internal transformation marked the beginning of a profound self-discovery process that reshaped my entire life.
In your work, you talk about your client’s ‘very best life’. Can you tell us about the journey from that point of realization to discovering and defining what 'Your Very Best Life' means to you?
That period was a crucible of self-discovery and healing. I delved into a deep, introspective journey, learning to find love and acceptance within myself. It was a process of peeling back the layers of past pain, societal expectations, and personal doubts. Gradually, I began to understand and define what 'my best life' truly meant - a life where I am at peace with myself, embracing joy, love, and fulfillment on my own terms. This inner work laid the foundation for not only transforming my life but also guiding others to discover their version of the best life.
How did you ultimately figure out what your "Very Best Life" looks like?
I've always believed in divine timing and the power of focusing on what we want rather than what we don't want. This belief has kept my energy aligned with attracting things that resonate with my true self. For me, the essence of my very best life has always been about being with my daughter, Madi, who is the greatest gift of the universe, enjoying the freedom to travel, cherishing deep connections with family and friends, and having the ability to entertain and shower love on people.
“When you invest in yourself, life aligns in the most beautiful ways.”
Can you share how your recent marriage fits into this vision of your 'very best life'?
Certainly. The journey to my best life really began with deep self-love and recognizing my self-worth, alongside reprogramming my unconscious mind. It was about empowering myself, finding joy in my own company, and building a life where I was content and fulfilled on my own. This foundation was essential; it was not about finding someone to complete me, but about becoming whole on my own.
Love entered my life as a delightful complement, not a necessity. Our bond, founded on mutual understanding and respect, thrived on our shared values and priorities, including a deep commitment to putting our children first.
We got married last month, and having just returned from our honeymoon, it’s quite literal to say we’re in the 'honeymoon phase.' But this phase is the culmination of years of personal growth and self-discovery. It underscores that when you invest in yourself, life aligns in the most beautiful ways.
So true that it all begins with self love - and congratulations! Many of our readers are intrigued by the power of the subconscious mind. Could you explain how this influences our daily decisions and life choices?
Certainly. It's a remarkable realization that only about 10% of our mind is conscious, with a staggering 90% comprising our unconscious mind. The conscious part, our daily activator, is responsible for goal setting, managing tasks, and other aware actions. However, the true powerhouse is the unconscious mind – the ‘goal-getter’, the commander. It's a repository of every memory, experience, and observation, even those at a cellular level.
Working with the unconscious is where transformative change occurs at a remarkable pace. It's not about being in a trance-like state; rather, we employ techniques like quantum linguistics to delve into the unconscious, clearing past traumas and eliminating deep-seated blocks. This cleansing and reprogramming of the unconscious mind leads to enduring changes, empowering us to live the life we're truly meant to lead, free from the confines of outdated beliefs and patterns. Because memory isn’t just stored in the brain - but at a cellular level, you can’t elicit lasting change without tapping that ‘other’ 90%.
How do our early life experiences and upbringing shape our subconscious programming?
The foundation of our subconscious programming is laid down in our formative years, from birth to about seven years old. During this critical phase, our unconscious mind absorbs everything from our environment – the influences of caregivers, family, and educators. These early experiences, both positive and negative, shape our internal narrative, impacting key life aspects like relationships, career, and health.
Significant emotional events during this period can create 'parts' in our subconscious, each with their own belief systems. These often manifest as behaviors that may not align with our ideal self. The integration of these parts, through processes like forgiveness, eliminates outdated survival mechanisms. Every experience, consciously remembered or not, is imprinted in our subconscious, influencing our life's script.
What steps can one take to reprogram or shed these deep-seated beliefs?
Reprogramming or shedding deep-rooted beliefs involves a dance between the conscious and the unconscious mind. The swiftest path to change is to shift our focus towards our aspirations and desires. Many find themselves repeating patterns in relationships or life situations because they haven't resolved the root causes. By engaging with the unconscious mind, we access and address these underlying issues, facilitating profound change.
One of my favorite modalities I use with clients for processing forgiveness is an experience called Quantum Time Release ™ . This allows us to clear a lifetime of the charge associated with negative emotions, all released in a particular order - anger, sadness, fear, guilt, and shame, without having to relive the trauma or retell the stories (as with talk therapy or similar). Because we’re not going back into the story, we aren’t ‘reinstalling’ traumatic neurology. This is why, while powerful, the process is painless, peaceful, loving and joyous. It’s magical really.
What are indicators that our subconscious beliefs may be obstructing our personal growth or happiness?
There are telltale signs. If you're caught in a cycle of similar patterns in relationships, career, or family dynamics, it’s a sign that subconscious beliefs are at play. It's that feeling of being stuck, of sensing there's more to life but not knowing how to reach it or feeling like you're just surviving, not truly living. These repetitive patterns and feelings of stagnation are key indicators that it's time to examine and address the subconscious beliefs that are holding you back.
You’ve mentioned tools to access the subconscious. Could you share a practical exercise for our readers to explore their subconscious beliefs?
Absolutely! I have two amazing journals I’d love to give to The Mamahood community. One is “Finding My True North to Finding My True Self”. And the other is the "Falling in Love With Myself Again" workbook, designed to help individuals reconnect with their inner self and uncover subconscious blocks. Both of these resources will provide our readers with a guided kickstart to their transformation journeys.
Riana, could you describe the typical client who seeks your guidance?
Most certainly. My typical client is someone who, from the outside, seems to have a good life. However, internally, they feel trapped, merely existing rather than thriving. They seek greater fulfillment, passion, and connection. Often, they wish to rediscover their true selves, having lost their identity in the service of others, and experience guilt when focusing on their own needs.
These individuals are essentially searching to reconnect with their purpose and to forge deeper connections in their relationships.
What common challenges do your clients face, and how do you assist them?
The challenges my clients face usually revolve around feeling that they are underachieving in their lives. They come to me ready for transformation, eager to escape a life dominated by fear, regret, and a sense of stagnation. The real work lies in identifying the underlying issues, which often transcend the immediate problems they face. Our focus is on rewiring their perceptions and interactions with their challenges, leading to significant and rapid changes in their lives.
Can you share a transformation story that particularly resonated with you?
One inspiring example involves a client who arrived at my retreat quiet and reserved, burdened with guilt over her deceased mother and entrenched in self-sabotage. Following our retreat and subsequent coaching, she underwent a remarkable transformation. She resolved her feelings towards her mother, stopped overworking, reconnected with friends, and began prioritizing her own well-being. Within just 90 days, her entire outlook on life shifted – she rediscovered a zest for life she hadn’t felt in years.
Another moving story is of a woman from the Bay Area, left heartbroken by her husband's sudden departure after three decades of marriage. She came to me in deep despair, questioning her value and purpose. Through our work together, we traced her issues back to a childhood incident. By the end of our sessions, she had emerged reinvigorated, embracing life with newfound enthusiasm and engaging in activities like dancing and traveling, which she had previously abandoned.
“Transforming our deepest subconscious beliefs is not just about changing thoughts; it’s about reshaping our entire life’s narrative to step into a world of possibilities we’ve always dreamed of.
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How long do these transformations typically take?
For both clients, the transformation began with a two-day ‘Awaken Your True Self’ retreat, followed by six to eight weeks of one-on-one coaching. It’s truly remarkable how much change can be achieved in such a brief period, highlighting the resilience and capacity for growth inherent in all of us.
What’s next for you in your mission? What’s your broader vision?
My overarching vision is to foster a space where individuals from all walks of life can realize their fullest potential. I aim to reach as many people as possible, providing support, guidance, and resources, and to show that transformation need not be a prolonged, burdensome journey. It's about being ready and open to embrace the life you're destined for, and I’m here to guide you on that transformative path.
For those intrigued by this journey, how can they begin their path with you?
For anyone interested in taking that first step towards designing a life they love, I recommend booking a complimentary 'Meant for More' discovery call. This session allows me to quickly understand your needs and suggest the most appropriate path, whether it’s participating in the 'Awaken Your True Self' virtual event Jan 27-28, joining the 'Limitless Life' cohort, or a more in-depth discovery session for a potential breakthrough program. Each option is customized to meet you where you are and what you need at this moment in your life.
Connect with Riana Malia on Instagram or Facebook.
You can also find her on The M List, The Mamahood’s searchable database of mom-recommended resources, or connect and collaborate with Riana inside of The Club membership for women Founders.