Discovering Your Wealthy Self with Regina Martinelli
Regina Martinelli talks with us about the nuanced relationship between financial achievement and personal contentment. With over two decades of experience in transformative coaching, Regina offers insights into how early childhood beliefs shape our financial behaviors. She emphasizes the crucial roles of neuroscience and quantum physics in overcoming restrictive mindsets for a richer, more fulfilling life. Her perspective is invaluable for women aiming to break through financial barriers and embrace a life that is both financially rewarding and deeply satisfying.
What inspired you to create Your Wealth Self program?
Ah, well, my journey towards 'Your Wealthy Self' began as a personal quest. I was always drawn to change work because, in many ways, I was my first student. Despite outward success and enjoyment in life, there was an inner tension and noise that I couldn't shake off. I sought peace, a deeper alignment between my external achievements and my internal state of being. Over the years, I immersed myself in various programs and experienced tools that were truly transformative—they reached the heart of my struggles and facilitated change rapidly and profoundly, unlike the slow progress of traditional affirmations or prolonged therapy. This sparked a desire to create a space for women facing similar challenges to access the peace, relief, freedom and daily joy I found, but via methods more accessible and effective than most mainstream modalities. It was about bringing internal and external harmony to others just as I had discovered for myself.
How many years did it take you to develop this understanding?
It's been a journey of about 25 years. I started as a participant in various transformational programs, eventually becoming a coach in these programs before exploring more modalities. This experience helped me understand the significance of inspecting our foundational beliefs formed in early childhood, before age six.
You've mentioned that many accomplished women don't feel fulfilled or deserving despite their achievements. Why do you think this disparity exists between external success and internal fulfillment?
The disparity between external success and internal fulfillment often stems from our culture's relentless emphasis on 'more.' We're constantly fed the idea that there's always more to be, have, do, and produce – another title, another income level, a bigger stage. It's presented from a place of scarcity, a place of ‘not quite yet’, almost there. But when we reach these milestones, they rarely feel as fulfilling as we crave. This is because our core beliefs about worth, deservingness, and self-perception are formed very early in life, often before the age of six or even in utero.
These early beliefs color our motivations and pursuits throughout adulthood. Achieving goals like significant income or social status doesn’t necessarily align with internal emotional satisfaction. If our pursuits are driven by deep-seated beliefs of inadequacy or a need to prove ourselves, they won’t deliver genuine joy or fulfillment. For instance, making a million dollars feels flat if it doesn’t align with our need to be loved or accepted for who we are. The real challenge is an 'inside job' - spotlighting and transforming these limiting patterns and childhood beliefs. It’s about understanding the underlying reasons for our pursuits and aligning them with our true selves. Only then can our external success bring internal satisfaction.
You focus on helping women break free from income plateaus and limiting beliefs. Can you describe a typical belief or mindset that tends to hold women back financially?
Absolutely. It's such a shame that a common belief holding many women back financially is the notion that hard work and sacrifice are prerequisites for money. This idea is deeply ingrained, yet it's far from the truth. Consider our nurses and teachers: they exemplify hard work and dedication, yet if hard work literally equaled financial wealth, they would be among the richest in our society. This clearly isn't the case.
The misconception that “you have to work hard for money” creates the reality that you will have to work hard for your money. This is how your brain works - it will focus on bringing evidence to prove your notion, “struggle and sacrifice begets money”, as the truth. Money, while it can contribute to safety and security, is a means, not the end in and of itself. Shifting this mindset leads to a more aligned, balanced, fun and successful approach to creating financial abundance.
How do our early life experiences and upbringing shape our subconscious programming?
Our early life experiences, especially in the formative years before age six, deeply influence our subconscious programming. This is when we decide how much we deserve, how loved we are, how safe it is to be ourselves and how valued we are. During this time, our unconscious mind absorbs and integrates a multitude of influences from caregivers and our environment.
A key element in this process is the concept of "Family inherited loyalties." This refers to beliefs and behavioral patterns passed down through generations. For example, a great-grandparent's trauma or loss can leave an emotional imprint affecting descendants' beliefs and financial behaviors, often subconsciously.
We subconsciously align with these ancestral experiences, out of our love and loyalty to those who came before us, sometimes leading to the repetition of familial pain and struggles. This can manifest in your business approach or personal relationships, often without your direct awareness.
For instance, a client imprinted her great-grandfather's trauma of abandonment and found herself overwhelmed and abandoned in her own endeavors. She subconsciously didn’t feel worthy of being more successful than her great-grandfather since he had sacrificed greatly for their family. Her inherited loyalties caused her to sabotage her own success, unconsciously, and experience the same struggles of her great-grandfather. We want to have success, and feel worthy, yet subconsciously there could be another pattern running that doesn’t align with what our conscious self wants. This is where the hidden blocks to creating what we want show up.
Could you share a personal experience that shaped your financial beliefs?
Certainly. My childhood experiences, especially working on our family's farm, profoundly influenced my beliefs about money and success. As a child, starting as young as six, I labored alongside my siblings in the fields. My father instilled a strong work ethic in us, emphasizing that hard work was essential to deserve anything in life, especially money.
This upbringing etched a belief deep within me: success and financial gain must come from relentless hard work, much like tending to a crop. Additionally, my father would say — “No one can live better than another in this family.” Striving for more was akin to breaking the family bond, almost like betrayal.
These beliefs created a constant internal conflict where part of me yearned for greater success and financial freedom, and another part was shackled by guilt and the fear of alienating my family. I could make money, yet if it was “too much” money it would disappear quickly with an unexpected car expense or needless spending. I became so exhausted riding that rollercoaster of making then losing money, that I decided there had to be a better way, an easier way to make, keep and enjoy money.
That's fascinating. It reminds me of an experience I had once, where my chakras were examined generationally. The practitioner mentioned something about my throat chakra holding resentment from ‘scorned’ Irish ancestors, dating back seven generations. It struck a chord, given my family's Irish immigrant background.
These deep-rooted connections across generations are intriguing and frequently overlooked. This brings me to my next question, particularly about the unique approach of your program.
Your program mentions neuroscience and quantum physics. How do these scientific principles play a role in money mindset transformation?
Many modalities focus on the cerebral cortex, the front part of our brain. This is where our feelings, language development, and vision for the future are processed. However, the neurology that we work with for transformation is in the reptilian brain, located at the back of the skull. The reptilian brain has been fully functional since we were in utero, governing our fight, flight, and freeze responses. When we’re unable to make decisions or speak, it's the reptilian brain causing us to freeze up to ensure our survival. This sounds contradictory yet this is how neurology gets entangled from childhood. In some family dynamics it wasn’t safe to speak up or you became a target, so today the reptilian brain causes you to freeze or not speak up to ensure safety, subconsciously.
The challenge is, most modalities try to reach the reptilian brain using the language of the cerebral cortex. But these are two separate entities, functioning independently. Imagine trying to walk from California to New York; you may get there eventually, but it's a long, complex journey. Similarly, trying to influence the reptilian brain with the language of the cerebral cortex is equally challenging. This is why despite having insights from podcasts, therapy, or books, your deep-seated patterns may not change. The reptilian brain doesn't understand language and needs a different approach to alter foundational patterns.
Incorporating neuroscience tools, we create new neural bridges in ways the reptilian brain can accept and respond to. It’s about presenting changes in a manner that this part of the brain finds acceptable and safe, rather than foreign and threatening.
Moreover, the beauty of using the quantum field, akin to the reptilian brain, is that everything is in the now. In this realm, we can influence and change patterns by accessing different versions of oneself, all existing concurrently. This holistic approach allows us to update and shift experiences across various dimensions, influencing both our past and future by making changes in the present.
"A common belief holding many women back financially is the notion that hard work and sacrifice are prerequisites for money. This idea is deeply ingrained, yet it's far from the truth." -Regina Martinelli, Your Wealthy Self
What are some practical exercises or tools you recommend for someone beginning their journey to rewrite their subconscious money scripts?
I recommend starting with clarity about what you truly desire. It's not just about material goals, but the deeper emotional needs you believe having money will give you. Once you understand this, it's a lot easier to create what you want by shifting the underlying beliefs that hold you back financially.
As a certified master transformational and NLP practitioner, how do these techniques assist in the transformation of one's money mindset?
These techniques unearth and revise the subconscious beliefs that direct our financial behaviors. By shifting these beliefs at their root, we can create lasting change in our financial narratives and our relationship to ourselves.
What are some misconceptions or myths about money mindset that you often encounter in your coaching?
Many people mistakenly equate money mindset with financial planning or simple budgeting. However, it's much more than that. It's about the relationship we have with money at an emotional level and how we use money to engage with life. Our relationship to money is influenced by our subconscious beliefs about how safe and loved we felt, how much we believed we deserved and how valued we felt as children.
For our readers who are new to the concept of an abundant self, can you describe what that means and how one begins to embody it?
The concept of an abundant self reflects the experience of having an internal ease and freedom that allows you to show up fully and authentically in various aspects of your life - be it family, work, relationships or personal passions. It's when the noise of our internal conflicts and struggles are quieted, allowing us to breathe more easily, trust life, speak our truth and have more daily joy. It's about being present and engaged in a way that feels rejuvenating rather than draining, generating a harmonious rapport with oneself.
How do you approach healing ancestral patterns and expanding self-worth within your program?
It involves delving into family history to find the ecology of the family-inherited loyalties and specific beliefs that hold individuals back. I use techniques that allow access to heal these patterns at their origin. This creates space to choose new, empowering beliefs that align with one’s current desires and aspirations for who they are today.
For those women who are on the fence about joining your wealthy self program, what would you say to them?
I would encourage them to reflect on how much struggle or lack of fulfillment they can tolerate in their lives. If they're tired of the internal conflict and are ready for a transformation that brings ease, joy, freedom, and satisfaction, this program offers a proven pathway to that new experience.
Are there any other programs or resources you'd recommend for someone looking to shift their money mindset?
While there are various resources out there, starting with a simple appreciation for what the energy of money allows in your life can be a transformative first step. Cultivating a relationship with money that is based on respect and partnership can significantly alter your financial trajectory. I love the book “Soul of Money” by Lynn Twist as well to understand the energy of money.
Given your rich experience spanning over 25 years, can you share a transformation story from one of your clients that left a lasting impression on you?
Absolutely, a story that vividly stands out involves a client who struggled with feelings of unworthiness, perceiving her life as chaotic and unfulfilled. She believed that her life's difficulties stemmed from her parents' divorce when she was 6 years old. She carried a profound burden, thinking she could have prevented their separation; a trance belief that had deeply shaped her perception of herself as a failure.
As we delved into her subconscious patterns in our sessions, she experienced a pivotal moment: as a child, she had no control over her parents' relationship and the resulting divorce. This insight was transformative, not only consciously, but also her subconscious belief was shifted. She saw the 'mess' she perceived in her life was an internalized narrative rooted in that childhood guilt. By revising the belief of being a failure, to one where she was not responsible for her parents' choices, she could release years of guilt and self-blame.
This profound transformation allowed her to see her life's journey in a new light. She began to appreciate the beauty and strength in her story, shifting her perspective from seeing a series of failures to recognizing her resilience and worth. This was not merely an emotional shift; it was a gateway to empowerment. She moved from a place of self-doubt to embracing her true worth and deservingness, both personally and financially. It's transformations like this that capture the essence of 'Your Wealthy Self'—guiding individuals to break free from limiting patterns, and trance beliefs to fully embrace their authentic selves.
What's on the horizon for you and Your Wealthy Self? Are there any upcoming events or programs our readers should be aware of?
I was asked to host my own TV show on the “I Have Today” network which is all about empowering women, which streams on e360tv. My tv show is called Your Wealthy Self and it's launching March 2024, focused on these same themes of transformation and empowerment through the lens of money. This platform will allow me to reach a wider audience and share the principles of financial abundance and personal transformation in a dynamic and engaging way.
